Earlier this year a general election happened. I don’t know if you noticed but there was much hoo-har about it at the time, in newspapers and such like. Despite my disgraceful ignorance of the British legal system I was allowed one vote. This is because I am 18 and therefore expected to be able to make important decisions. This is wrong. I am completely incapable of making any kind of informed decision about.. anything. Especially politics. Prior to some chap in a nice suit on the telybox going on and on and ON about a coalition I had never heard of such a thing. I thought the one that got most votes would win and that would be that. It seems tis a bit more complicated than I had anticipated.
Notice Cameron is the only one with a suntan, so he must be alright.
What I would like to know is who decided that all 18 year olds are politically aware enough to help decide the future of our wonderful motherland, and why. I don’t think most will have a clue what they are voting for. Actually, I think a substantial proportion of voters of all ages might as well be blindfolded when putting their cross on the ballot paper, for all they know of the policies of the party they are voting for. Therefore I have come to the decision that there must be a better way of deciding who the next prime minister should be... like a tombola or something. This would combine entertainment and politics. The election coverage would be much better for all concerned. Or alternatively (and this is my preferred option) we could host some kind of Big Brother style show, to fill the void that the end of this years programme will leave. Lets put all the candidates in 10 Downing Street and then evict one each week until we are left with the winner, who shalt be crowned Mr Prime Minister and lead us to victory.
I think there should be a test before you are allowed to vote.. some kind of pop quiz to see if you actually know what you’re talking about. I suppose an IQ test could suffice. The same should apply to whether you’re allowed to have children actually, I fear the Jeremy Kyle brigade is beginning to outnumber those with a brain. There might be a civil war soon. Like in planet of the apes. I think they could win. The Kyle folk look fierce and know how to use knives.
I’ve never taken much of an interest in politics. It always seemed completely irrelevant to me. Of late I have become aware that it is probably a bit more important than I had expected, what with me now being a graduate with little to no hope of ever finding a graduate job, due to the financial shambles which I am reliably informed (by Dave) was caused by Tony Blair and Gordon. A recent headline said there are 69 applicants per graduate job. Many graduate employers won’t even consider an applicant without a First or 2.1. This makes me annoyed. Tony wanted everyone to go to university. He thought this meant everything would be better for everyone. All the world will be a graduate and we will be a very clever country. However, why did no one at the time think to themselves... hang about, won’t this have some kind of effect on the value of a degree? How will the universities cope with this massive expansion? Will the amount of graduate jobs rise in proportion with the increased amount of graduates each year? No. No they did not. This appears to have come as a massive surprise. The class of 2010 is in a pickle. Now it seems that if you didn’t get a 2.1 in your degree you might as well not have one for all the use it will do you. Thus a large proportion of graduates have nothing to show for their last three years but astronomical debt, an STD and a hangover. Tony should be giving out refunds.
Dave said this man is the cause of all our distress.
I have faith that Dave will sort out the graduate job market, and the economy, and everything else that Tony ruined. This is because his face has a mirror like quality. You should always trust a man if you can see your reflection in his face. As for Clegg, he wears a yellow tie. No one in a yellow tie ever led a country. Thats all I can say. (because I am not really interested enough to do any kind of valid research on anything remotely political, but obviously still have an opinion.)
A sparkling forehead is the key to success.