Saturday, 31 July 2010

Alexandra Responds to First Criticisms of her Blog.

A lanky pseudo-northerner has unkindly outed my blogging through the medium of facebook. No doubt thinking this some kind of hilarious joke Jet Witney (not his real name) tagged me in his status, calling my new love of writing to my blog "embarassing". Jet does not believe in blogs, nor does he believe that I am capable of creating a blog good enough to rival that of perezhilton.

Jet is what is called a male, thus finds himself in the unfortunate position of being wrong by nature, however in this case Jet is more wrong than usual. I must also mention that he is a man with a fake accent. Although this is unrelated it is worth noting that he therefore demonstrates his shortcomings on a daily basis. His inability to see the use in blogs is unsurprising. The mocking of Witney will no doubt advertise Alexandra's Complaints of the Day and probably make Alexandra rich and famous. I will then spend no pennies on our northern friend and have him sent to Bulgaria to mow the lawn of the summer house I will buy for the sole use of my stout canine friend, Bubbles.

I love this dog.

From Alexandra

Alexandra's First Thoughts on the Birth of her Blog.

Excruciating boredom, the result of my ongoing unemployment and the annual, horrendous canyoubelieveitwilleverend summer holiday have inspired me to create this blog. I am hopeful that my bountiful readership will be brimming with excitement at this news, clinging to the edge of chairs nationwide wondering what it is I will be writing about in the oncoming weeks. You may find this a ludicrous idea, but wait whilst I explain the failsafe reasoning behind it. Lost has taught me that hope is a very important thing, in fact all you need to achieve your dreams, be they having said bountiful readership, or escaping curious smoke monster on moving island. I am therefore confident that Lost knows best and I may go on hoping for whatever I wish...(Lost obsession has also grown out of the soil of tedious, definitely in vain, job hunting that the summer of 2010 has brought.)

In writing this I am envisaging my life having some sort of Carrie Bradshaw-esque glamour which it never has. A sad life is mine, lowly student whittling away the summer months in Essex before I can start at university in September. Only one goal has possessed me this summer. Stricken by poverty/boredom I have attempted to find employment in this delightful market town. Alas, after numerous failings a crushing defeat occurred as follows -  Alexandra was denied a job at the ONE STOP. 

What I am destined to become. 
Having picked myself up off the ground I decided to turn my attention instead to - not finding employment, which I find is working much better for me. But before you go thinking me a lazy sluglike character I must let you know that I am doing work experience which is unpaid but I am confident I will reap the rewards of this charity work through the high-flying graduate career which is soon to come my way, failing that I will certainly enter heaven

From Alexandra